Poor hygiene, bad behaviour, and annoying quirks are all good reasons to detest a dog. However, what if the dog is your partner’s?
This throws a little spanner in the works considering it could bring tension in the relationship. You may be worried of offending your partner by saying you don’t like the dog they probably love deeply.
However, fear not. There are always practical things you can do to help the situation. These include finding solutions to things you don’t like about your boyfriend’s dog.
You can also try putting more things into perspective in your relationship. Don’t underestimate a good old fashioned talk which can help you feel better about the situation. These are just some of the solutions.
Common Reasons To Hate Your Partner’s Dog
The Dog Is Smelly!
The dreaded doggy smells. The house stinks of dog and this can even rub off on your clothes. Yuck!
That also includes doggie breath which you may get whiffs of every now and again. Dogs naturally create oils for their hair and skin. They also secrete a distinct fishy smell from their anal glands naturally to let other animals know the dog is around.
That’s why dogs love sniffing each others bums.
On top of this if your dog has a bacterial or yeast infection this can make doggy smells even worse.
Well luckily there are some solutions that you can recommend and even start implementing.
For doggie smells try air purifiers, pet specific carpet fresheners, and deodorizing dog spray. You can add the air purifiers in different locations in your house such as the bedroom and living room.
As for the pet spray, simply apply a couple sprays to the dog’s coat and comb through to spread the spray throughout the coat and skin.
If you’re wondering where to find these items a simple google search will bring up tons of results.
Another tip is to simply clean your dog more. Bath him monthly, and don’t forget the teeth and mouth!
A golden tip is to also use vinegar and water mixed together in a spray bottle or bucket. You can spray this around the house and also on your dog. Because vinegar is acidic it will neutralize any smells that arise from bacteria.
Dog Hair Is Everywhere
You could be sitting enjoying a movie with your partner only to see clumps of dog hair on the furniture.
Every time you get up it sticks to your clothes and you walk around feeling yucky and messy. This problem is even worse if your partner likes to sleep with their dog. Imagine waking up to a long wet sloppy kiss and a mouth of fur….. Some may like it, I know I wouldn’t.
Every dog owner will feel this way at least a couple times during their dog’s life, especially a dog that shed lots of fur.
Sounds simple but you must vacuum. You don’t always have to bring out the big vacuum with a long chord. You can always try a handheld vacuum too to help make things easier for you.
You can even try hair remover rollers too. You can roll over the area of hair and the hair sticks to the sticky surface of the roller. It’s good to have all the tools in your arsenal.
Simply grooming your dog more and making sure you’re using a correct brush for their coat can also help with shedding.
If there is a particular area of the house where you really don’t want dog hair then section them off from this area. Create a door barrier. You can also designate a particular area for the dog to stay and place the door barrier there.
For example, consider creating a door barrier in the kitchen so your dog can’t get into other rooms in the house.
Dog Jumps On furniture
You’re sitting on the sofa to suddenly have the dog jump up next to you or on your lap. What first might seem like a playful act can suddenly feel very unhygienic.
Having a sofa that smells of dog and fur that sticks to your clothes is not a pleasant feeling.
Luckily, there are some things to do to stop dog jumping on furniture.
You can make the furniture uncomfortable for the dog to jump on. Consider covering the sofa with cushions placed sideways. You could also add a blanket or cover over the sofa to make it awkward to jump on.
Another tip is to buy a dog couch or multiple dog beds. This way they know it’s their own place to rest on. Consider placing them around various places in the house and living room.
Just like preventing dog hair you can also keep their dog sectioned off in another room. For example, consider getting a screen door for the kitchen so your dog is enclosed off from the rest of the house.
Lastly, teach them. There are plenty of methods to teach a dog not to jump on furniture. These can range from the “off ” command to clicker training.
Not Your Dog Of Choice
You may just not like the breed or look of your boyfriends dog. Some people don’t feel any affection to smaller yappier dog breeds. Others may have a fear or dislike to bigger more protective dog breeds.
It really depends on your personal preference.
I used to have a manager at work who owned a very yappy Pomeranian. Some days she used to bring the dog to work. Although it was fun to see the pommy jumping around excitedly, my colleagues and I didn’t really warm to her yapping every second.
No wonder why my manager didn’t start bringing that pommy in after a while.
Well there is not really much you can do if you just don’t like a certain breed of dog. It’s personal preference. Understand though their dog can’t change the way they look or are. Its simply how they were born.
Like humans dogs all have certain characteristics and personalities. Understand these and see the good in your boyfriend’s dog.
If that is too hard, then maybe it’s time to talk it out (as discussed below) and see what is best for the relationship.
Some dogs bark more than others. For example, the chihuahua is known for being a yapper, while Schnauzers are also known for being vocal.
Whereas some of the more protective breeds bark every time they hear or see something outside.
My family used to have a lassie collie that barked every time he heard movement or saw the shadows of someone moving outside. We managed to reduce the barking by teaching the dog by saying “no” every time it barked and then rewarded him for being quiet.
Your Partner Spends Too Much Time With His Doggo
He could be cuddling and kissing with his dog and not giving the same love and attention to you. This could make you feel jealous or neglected in the relationship.
In addition he could be canceling meeting you because he is too busy looking after his pooch.
If your boyfriend is kissing and cuddling his dog more than you, then talk it out with him. Make your feelings known that you feel left out.
He will never know how you feel if you don’t let it be known.
Ideally in a long committed relationship he needs to be there for you. Assess the situation, bring up the topic with him, and determine if he really cares for you.
The same goes for spending too much time with his pooch. You have to really assess if he really does have to look after his dog or if he doesn’t want to spend time with you.
If it’s the latter, then find out why…maybe he just needs his space.
However, it’s important to understand the effort it takes to look after a dog.
Walks, training, grooming, cleaning, veterinary treatment, feeding, and loving attention all need to be given to a dog. It’s alot of work! If your partner works a full time job his time will be restricted further. So maybe he really does have to look after his dog.
You can always recommend joining him while he takes the dog for a walk or other activities. A doggie day care center might also be worth considering a couple times a month.
Gets in the way of Intimacy
Dogs can get in the way of love making. Imagine initiating some kissing and cuddling for the dog to suddenly want in on the action.
You could also feel a bit weird with a dogs puppy eyes watching from the corner as things get heated.
Being spontaneous is harder too. A visit out of town and you will have to think about getting back in time to let the dog out to pee. A weekend getaway will have to be more thoroughly planned for who looks after the pet.
Have a specific room where the dog stays and sleeps. Become disciplined about closing the bedroom door so they can’t come in. You can even have a crate nearby so that they can’t come in and ruin the fun.
Be disciplined about scheduling your alone time together. This way you can continue to build trust and bond with your boyfriend with just the two of you to focus on.
Being slightly more restricted and less spontaneous with your boyfriend is just part of the parcel of dog ownership. Get used to planning things more in advance and its also handy to have a couple friends or professional dog carers that can look after your dog every now and again.
Dog poos and pees everywhere
If your partner’s dog is pooping and peeing everywhere then that will make any person hate the dog.
It’s unacceptable for a grown dog to not be properly trained. It’s like an adult human who doesn’t know how to brush their teeth or wipe their bum.
Luckily there are plenty solutions. Every time your dog is about to poo or pee say “ah ah” in a loud high pitch voice. And immediately get them outside.
Once they pee or poo outside, reward them with a special treat : ) Also shower with plenty of praise of doing it outside.
Another tip is to have a feeding schedule. That way you know roughly when the dog will want to poo/pee.
If your worried about the dog pooing on your expensive rug or near your bed then section them off from areas you don’t want them to go.
Close doors and consider getting a dog screen to place in the kitchen. That way they can’t leave the kitchen unless you want them to. If they do poo it can be in a place that you can easily clean up after them.
Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend Because Of His Dog
This sounds extreme, but ultimately it really depends on your situation with your boyfriend. How strong is the relationship with your boyfriend and are your goals aligned? Can you see yourself living with him and his dog for the future?
Can the situation be changed so that you can feel better? Is he or you willing to make the changes?
Remember living with someone with a dog does change your life. It’s something you will have to be ok with in the long-term. You will have less freedom, it will bite into your expenses, and eventually you have to share responsibilities for looking after the dog at some stage.
Having a dog is not a temporary thing but a long term situation where the dog is a member of the family.
So you really have to dig deep down and answer that question.
Alternatively, instead of breaking up you can recommend some “time off” from seeing the dog in your relationship. If you are living with your boyfriend you can suggest moving out until the time is right to live together again.
The time being right, when the dog is better trained, or you are feeling better about seeing your bf’s dog.
Tips to help your relationship with your pet and boyfriend
TALK it out. Decide action steps going forward.
Communication is the key to effective relationships with anyone. It’s not a time to vent your anger but a time to have an open dialogue about how the relationship can progress and how the BOTH of you can be happy.
Many people keep their feelings bottled up and it will eventually rear its ugly head in the form of an outburst or deep unhappiness. However, there is a write and wrong way to communicate with your partner.
Some tips for communicating to your partner
- Choose a quiet peaceful setting to talk to your partner. There should be no distractions like talking while your walking to get somewhere or rushing it in the morning.
- Be open and honest and constructive. Talk about the things you struggle with in the relationship
- Listen to your partner and try to empathize with his situation and ask the same of him.
- Try and be positive where you can.
- Talk about the potential solutions you are thinking of to help the situation. This way you can both agree on a solution that is right for both of you.
The level of compromise can go from the more extreme like getting rid of the pooch to the softer compromises like mini lifestyle changes.
For example a softer lifestyle change can be things you can fix today. If your partner likes to sleep with his dog, suggest it’s time the dog sleeps alone. If the dog is wild and energetic, maybe it means the two of you need to give him more walks or look into ways of calming him down.
If you’re too busy to give more walks, hire a dog walker. Some compromises will be challenging as they will also have to be made by yourself.
For instance, if you’re jealous that your partner spends too much time with his dog, maybe it’s time to just let him spend time with his dog. Empathize that he really is just a massive dog lover and needs his doggo’s company to be happy.
The more extreme compromise, mainly for your bf, would be to find a new home for the dog.
All dogs need the proper exercise, attention, and training. If they can’t get this, maybe it’s time to suggest a new home. This is a big compromise, but if he really loves you he will understand and empathize with your pain.
Start learning about dog behaviour and training.
Suggest the both of you start becoming more knowledgeable on dog training.
You can seek out professional help from dog trainers in person or online. You can also buy a dog training book and learn all the tips and tricks.
There is nothing worse than having things you don’t like about a dog but not having the resources or knowledge to do anything about it.
When you start learning more about dogs it will make meeting your boyfriends more dog all the more easier. You might actually start feeling a sense of achievement when you see improvements in your boyfriends dog.
Are there deeper relationship issues
Do you have different goals for the future?
Some partners don’t want pets right away in the relationship. Others may like petting and stroking dogs but in reality not want a dog at all. Find out what camp your in.
Either way maybe their are other goals you want to achieve instead of looking after or getting a dog. You may want to work more on your career, travel more or have more spare time and don’t want a pet to worry about.
Your timelines might not match up, and it may be worth discussing this with your bf so atleast you both know where each other stands.
Does your life feel stuck because of your boyfriend?
A dog may not be the only issue holding you back. You may feel stuck and restricted in the relationship even without the dog.
Look for signs of feeling trapped or contained. Maybe the life of your boyfriends is restricting you and making you less content with your own freedoms.
Are you really a dog lover and how much do dogs matter to your partner?
It’s certainly good to have different personalities and opposites can attract. But genuinely having the same interests helps for the long term.
Some people like dogs but are not crazy about them, others can be dog obsessed.
Ultimately a dog lover, and someone who despises dogs is not going to be an ideal match.